This is What Happen When We Settle (For Less)
Everyone dreams of being in love. We long for a partner to share our lives with, someone we can call on anytime and explore the world with. There’s an undeniable magic in having “our person.”
But as enchanting as that dream is, it often remains just that—a dream. The search for the perfect partner can feel overwhelming, as if they are always just out of reach.
Despite our desire for true love, we frequently settle for relationships that fall short of our ideals. We spend years with someone we don’t truly connect with, all because we fear the prospect of being alone.
We shouldn’t be afraid of solitude. Instead, we should take the time to understand ourselves, define what we truly want, and refuse to settle for anything less than our ideal.
We either endure the challenging path to genuine happiness or opt for the seemingly easier route. If you find yourself choosing the latter, this article is for you. Here’s what happens when you settle (for less):
- You Doubt Yourself
When you settle for someone, you agree to dismiss all the needs that person is unable to fulfill. Instead of acknowledging that fact, you turn against yourself and question your own worth, making you doubt yourself. You’ll begin to think that something is wrong with you or that you need to put more effort into the relationship. When that doesn’t work, it will reinforce the belief that you aren’t enough. - You Miss Out On What’s Meant For You
When we accept anything less than what we deserve, we ignore our true calling and what aligns with us. While holding onto someone that doesn’t fulfill our needs, we keep going, unaware of what truly brings us joy and fulfillment. There is happiness waiting for us when we choose to validate ourselves rather than waiting for a person who just cannot see it. If we try to leave a relationship that no longer serves us, it can be difficult because we think time equals loyalty. Or, maybe the person doesn’t want us to leave and tries to get us to stay. However, we deserve to leave a relationship or situation that we do not want to be in anymore. You deserve to go where you feel wanted. When we begin to make choices aligned with who we are, we will feel more empowered and enjoy our lives significantly more. - You Stop Having Goals
When you settle for less, you stop making goals. You get so caught up in the life you accepted that you don’t make time for your ambitions. If this is you, then you pressed the airplane mode button on your life. Not to worry, you can start again today (don’t wait for tomorrow). When we settle for something that’s out of alignment with who we are, it’s natural to become stagnant. It’s like moving a boulder; you must rebuild your momentum. Nothing will happen if nothing changes. It’s simple. Change happens only if something changes. - Regret
No matter what length of time it’s been, when you settle for less, you regret the choices you made to settle and grieve the life or opportunities you would’ve had if you didn’t. This regret can also lead to resentment and self-loathing. It’s healthy to view the decision of settling as a part of your journey to success and happiness so that we don’t repeat the same patterns. - Unmet Needs
The longer we stay in a relationship that doesn’t meet our needs, the longer we remain unsatisfied. It can be scary to start over or leave a relationship because of the uncertainty of the future. Here’s a quote to challenge our fears: “It’s better to walk through the wrong door than to stay in the wrong room.” In other words, it’s better to accept that we can always choose to move on from something that isn’t a right match for us, than to stick around somewhere because we are used to it. Staying where we are unhappy comes from low self-esteem that believes we don’t deserve better or that we are incapable of providing ourselves with a better opportunity.
You die once, but every day you have the chance to live. Learning to empower yourself to create the life you envision is essential to being happy. Learning to let go of what we’ve outgrown is a result of feeling empowered. Using the fear of the unknown can be daunting, but if we listen to what our fears are telling us, we can hear the direction we should go. Embrace the journey, trust yourself, and make choices that align with your true self. Only then can you find the happiness and fulfillment you deserve.